Politeness strategies in the talk of an emotionally unstable relationship in the episode “I can’t love you the way you want me to” of where should we begin? podcast

Rinandasari, Adinda Ayu (2026) Politeness strategies in the talk of an emotionally unstable relationship in the episode “I can’t love you the way you want me to” of where should we begin? podcast. Sarjana thesis, UIN Sunan Gunung Djati Bandung.

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Abstract

ENGLISH: Politeness strategies played a significant role in maintaining interpersonal relationships, particularly in emotionally unstable interactions where conflict and emotional tension frequently occurred. This study aimed to analyze the types of politeness strategies used by the speakers, examine how these strategies were applied throughout the conversation, and explain their role in managing interaction in an emotionally unstable relationship. This research employed a qualitative descriptive method using Brown and Levinson’s (1987) Politeness Theory as the main analytical framework. The data consisted of 26 utterances taken from the podcast episode I Can’t Love You the Way You Want Me To from Where Should We Begin? hosted by Esther Perel. The data were collected through document analysis by repeatedly listening to the podcast, transcribing the conversation, identifying relevant utterances, classifying them based on politeness strategies, and interpreting them contextually. The findings revealed that all four types of politeness strategies bald on record, positive politeness, negative politeness, and off-record were employed by the speakers, with positive politeness appearing most frequently. The strategies were realized through various linguistic features, including direct criticism, appreciation, hedging, humor, hints, exaggeration, and rhetorical questions. Furthermore, the findings indicated that positive politeness and negative politeness generally contributed to reducing interpersonal tension and maintaining emotional connection, whereas bald on record often intensified conflict through direct face-threatening acts. Meanwhile, off-record strategy enabled speakers to avoid direct confrontation but occasionally created ambiguity and unresolved emotional tension. Overall, the study demonstrated that politeness strategies functioned not only as linguistic devices but also as important interactional resources for managing communication in emotionally unstable relationships. INDONESIA: Strategi kesantunan memiliki peran penting dalam menjaga hubungan interpersonal, terutama dalam interaksi yang tidak stabil secara emosional, di mana konflik dan ketegangan emosional sering kali terjadi. Penelitian ini bertujuan untuk menganalisis jenis-jenis strategi kesantunan yang digunakan oleh para penutur, mengkaji bagaimana strategi tersebut diterapkan sepanjang percakapan, serta menjelaskan perannya dalam mengelola interaksi pada hubungan yang tidak stabil secara emosional. Penelitian ini menggunakan metode deskriptif kualitatif dengan teori kesantunan Brown dan Levinson (1987) sebagai kerangka analisis utama. Data penelitian berupa 26 tuturan yang diambil dari episode podcast I Can’t Love You the Way You Want Me To dalam Where Should We Begin? yang dipandu oleh Esther Perel. Data dikumpulkan melalui analisis dokumen dengan cara mendengarkan podcast secara berulang, mentranskripsikan percakapan, mengidentifikasi tuturan yang relevan, mengklasifikasikan data berdasarkan strategi kesantunan, serta menginterpretasikannya secara kontekstual. Hasil penelitian menunjukkan bahwa keempat jenis strategi kesantunan, yaitu bald on record, positive politeness, negative politeness, dan off-record, digunakan oleh para penutur, dengan positive politeness sebagai strategi yang paling dominan. Strategi-strategi tersebut diwujudkan melalui berbagai bentuk kebahasaan, seperti kritik secara langsung, ungkapan apresiasi, penggunaan hedging, humor, petunjuk tidak langsung, melebih-lebihkan tuturan, serta pertanyaan retoris. Lebih lanjut, temuan penelitian menunjukkan bahwa positive politeness dan negative politeness umumnya berperan dalam meredakan ketegangan interpersonal serta mempertahankan kedekatan emosional, sedangkan bald on record cenderung memperburuk konflik melalui tindak tutur yang mengancam muka secara langsung. Sementara itu, strategi off-record memungkinkan penutur menghindari konfrontasi secara langsung, tetapi terkadang menimbulkan ambiguitas dan ketegangan emosional yang belum terselesaikan. Secara keseluruhan, penelitian ini menunjukkan bahwa strategi kesantunan tidak hanya berfungsi sebagai perangkat kebahasaan, tetapi juga sebagai sumber daya interaksional yang penting dalam mengelola komunikasi pada hubungan yang tidak stabil secara emosional.

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